If any of you have a Garmin Nuvi GPS unit, you will immediately know what I am talking about with that title. “Jill” is the woman who is the voice of Garmin on these units, and if you make a mistake or don’t follow her instructions, man, she really gets on your case. Jill says “recalculating” with a really bitchy attitude that makes it sound like you just gave her a dog turd to eat. John says it’s like having two wives in the car telling him how to drive.

I’ve had to do a bit of recalculating of my own with the new sweater. I’ve named it True Blue, as it is indeed pretty blue, and it’s for my true blue husband. I’ve ripped this sucker out and restarted three times now.

I didn’t take a photo of the first version. I wanted to use the pattern for the Father/Son sweater that I used for John’s Big Grey sweater, but completely ignored that fact that the Beaverslide worsted is a lighter weight yarn than the Peace Fleece that I used for that one. I actually did knit a swatch, then squinted sideways and decided that if I just knitted the size one size larger than the previous grey version, that all would be well. Denial is a lovely thing. I got almost two inches of twisted rib done on the back piece before reality hit. Way too small, out it came.


I then dithered about it for a week, and finally decided to fire up the old PC laptop and make a pattern using Sweater Wizard. It’s the only software package that I use that has no good alternative in a Mac format (yet! she’s designing it as we speak!), and I’m not about to pay for and install Windoze on this Mac just to run one program. Out came the pattern, and I cast on again. This time I got about an inch done of the ribbing before I realized my newest mistake.

Most sweater patterns have the sizes listed as the actual finished measurements. That is, if you want your finished sweater to measure 24 inches across the chest, or 48 inches around, you would pick the size that said “48”. That’s the size I made for John with the Father/Son sweater before. SW does it differently. It has you enter your actual chest measurement, along with other info, including the weight of your fabric and desired ease, and it calculates away.

Do you see where this is going? I forgot this, entered 48 inches in the little box that asked for chest measurement. I had embarked on a sweater that would ultimately be 52 inches around, not quite the look he wants.

Out it came, again.


Back to the drawing board, now with a new, resized pattern. I’m sure by this time tomorrow I’ll have found something else that I’ve screwed up.


Recalculating — 16 Comments

  1. I got in a screaming match with that Garman chic when we were in Arizona. I literally screamed at her. Then I stopped in the middle of the road and tossed that chic in the trunk!
    Sorry you are having to “recalculate” True Blue. “Recalculating is never fun.

  2. Our GPS is “Jane” and we gave her an English accent, which we hope helps her sound just a little less bitchy. She seems a little mystified when we make her recalculate. That blue yarn is just so pretty (handsome?). I actually have three programs that I run frequently that need Windows, so I’m just waiting for XP to arrive. No way am I going near Vista!! And I’m not running Parallels or Fusion because I want to keep the Windows side totally partitioned away from my OSX. Call me paranoid, but . . .

  3. How funny. I’ve got Daniel who’s English from England telling me where to go. Had a crush on him for two weeks when it was all new. They do get cranky when they have to recalculate.

  4. Oh man, call ME when she does finish the Sweater Wizard for Mac. I’ve been desperate for it for two years!
    I find GPS systems to be totally exasperating. They get all cranky with you when you ignore their well meant advice and start barking at you, “Turn Left in 40 feet…Turn Left…Left!!!…In 100 yards, pull over and turn around…” It sounds a lot like my mother actually, and excuse me, but I KNOW how to get to my sister’s house. MYOB!
    I’ve had them request circles on country roads, and reroute me to the middle of San Francisco Bay. I’d rather just get lost, thank you very much.

  5. That’s for the laugh! American Jill has been disappointed with us many times! But with knitting sometimes I’m worse than Jill when I have to “recalculate” what I’ve done.

  6. I am highly amused by the two wives comment!
    I love the blue that will eventually be a sweater. Hopefully you will be knitting away on it and it will be well underway when you get around to reading this.
    (P.S. Your tape measure looks interesting …)

  7. I could hear Jill’s voice before I even started reading your post!
    Sigh. At least knitting is fun! It would really suck to make mistakes doing something boring, like laundry.

  8. The yarn color is great!
    Good luck with the sweater – maybe the third time is the charm?
    I am an old hand at frogging. If you do it often enough, it gets easier. I have gotten to the point that the first time I think that maybe I should rip something, I just do it. Dithering rarely changes my mind and if I dither, I have more knitting to rip. : ((

  9. Marine Corps F-18 pilots call their person “Bitchin Betty” – I like it! Our system only beeps when you make a mistake. It’s somewhat less offensive.

  10. Sometimes, I don’t follow the route on purpose to piss off the navigation system.
    (But then I have to cancel the route, because it gets annoying after a while.)

  11. I know that twit bitch’s recalculating voice. Too well. Or maybe I’m the twit.
    I’m crossing fingers that three times is charming, because it probably has already gotten old.

  12. Oh I know that voice so well. Once she tried to get us to turn onto a one way road going the wrong way and was not happy that we wouldn’t do it. She kept bringing us right back to that turn.
    I hope the third time is the charm!

  13. Change your Garmin to the male voice (Jack). He doesn’t have quite as much attitude as Jill when “recalculating.”